Hello Muddah, hello Faddah
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.

I went hiking with Joe Spivy
He developed poison ivy

You'll remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.

All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators

And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

Now I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria

You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party.

Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh
Take me home, I hate Grenada
Don't leave me out in the forest
Where I might get eaten by a bear.

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise
 Or mess the house with other boys



Oh please, don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day.

Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah?




Let me come home if ya miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.


Wait a minute, it stopped hailing

Guys are swimming, guys are sailing

Playing baseball, gee dat's bettah



Muddah, Fadduh kindly disregard this letter!